长舌妇
释义 DEFINITION
长舌妇，字面意思是『舌头很长的妇女』，但千万别被字面意思骗了——这跟医学上的巨舌症毫无关系！在中文互联网中，它用来形容热衷传播八卦、添油加醋甚至造谣的人，性别不限，行为特征包括：
- ☕️ 掌握小区/办公室80%的『独家秘闻』
- 🔥 擅长把『张三借了李四充电器』加工成『张三李四为爱私奔』
- 📱 微信运动步数永远第一，因为每天都在各家门口『收集情报』
如今这个词常出现在吃瓜现场评论区，比如：『前排那个长舌妇，瓜都被你啃成瓜子皮了！』
词源故事 ETYMOLOGY
这个自带『村口情报局终身成就奖』气质的词汇，最早可追溯到《诗经》里讽刺搬弄是非者的诗句。但让它完成从古文到网络热梗华丽变身的，是当代三大推手：
1. 影视神助攻： 从《甄嬛传》里交换秘密的娘娘们，到《乡村爱情》里嗑瓜子传话的谢大脚，屏幕里的『长舌现场教学』让这个词有了画面感。
2. 朋友圈扩音器： 当某位阿姨把『邻居女儿穿了破洞裤』描述成『老王家破产了』的聊天截图被疯传，评论区必然出现：『建议长舌妇列入非物质文化遗产』。
3. 阴阳文学奖得主： 年轻人用来自嘲『不小心把朋友的恋爱进度同步给了整个微信群』时，会配上熊猫头表情包：『糟糕，我的长舌之魂觉醒了！』
如今这个词已突破性别年龄限制，任何在微博超话里用『我朋友说…』开头编料的网友，都可能被怼：『收起你的长舌，嫦娥五号都嫌你传话快』。
例句：
『公司茶水间那位长舌妇，昨天刚说我秃头，今天就传成我们组要「从头开始」集体剃光头！』
DEFINITION
Gossip Gretel is the Chinese internet's answer to 『that one person who knows everyone’s business』. Picture a human version of Twitter trending topics with these superpowers:
- 🧙♀️ Transforms 『Bob borrowed a pen』 into 『Office love triangle drama』 in 0.5 seconds
- 📢 Maintains a 24/7 mental spreadsheet of who’s dating/divorcing/getting fired
- 🎯 Somehow always texts you 『I heard…』 right before your coffee gets cold
Unlike the fairy tale character, this Gretel isn’t dropping breadcrumbs – she’s planting entire rumor baguettes.
ETYMOLOGY
The term Gossip Gretel underwent a Cinderella-level transformation from ancient poetry to modern meme. Here’s how it became China’s favorite shady shibe:
Phase 1: Classical Roasts (771 BC – Now)
Originally appearing in the Book of Songs as poetic criticism of rumor-mongers, it was the literary equivalent of being subtweeted by Confucius.
Phase 2: Soap Opera Glow-Up (2010s)
TV dramas like Empresses in the Palace turned palace intrigue into masterclasses in gossip delivery. Viewers started live-commenting: 『Crown Princess just leveled up her Gossip Gretel skills!』
Phase 3: WeChatification Era
When Auntie Zhang’s voice message about 『Xiao Wang wearing pajamas to buy tofu』 morphed into 『Wang family financial crisis』 across 500-person group chats, netizens declared: 『Gossip Gretels are the original Chinese blockchain – unkillable and exponentially growing.』
Now used equally to:
- Roast influencers spreading unverified celebrity 『breakups』
- Joke about accidentally becoming the office news anchor after one coffee break
Example usage:
『Our company Gossip Gretel just upgraded my vacation photos into 『secret marriage evidence』 – guess I’m trending on Weibo now!』